


A Punny Situation

by truemexicanalpha



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Post season 3a, Sheriff Stilinski Finds Out, Which means Derek is back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truemexicanalpha/pseuds/truemexicanalpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s expecting to see a homeless man or maybe a group of kids smoking marijuana. What he does not expect to see is his son pinned against the wall with Derek’s tongue in his mouth. He clears his throat before he speaks. “Stiles. Derek. Why don’t you boys go ahead and come out of the closet.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Punny Situation

"Derek? Derek! Shit! Derek?" Stiles calls out frantically. He wonders to himself how exactly he ended up in this room. The last he remembers, he and Derek were walking in the preserve, and then suddenly, darkness.

"Stiles, I’m here. I’m here." Stiles jumps when Derek places a hand onto his shoulder. He reaches into his pocket to grab his phone, then fidgets for a second before he finally opens his flashlight app. "Oh, thank god for technology." He lets out a loud sigh. Turning around to look at Derek, he says, "How the fuck did we get in here, Derek?  _Where_  is here?” He raises his phone to flash the light around the small room. The walls are lined with shelves, though they are bare, and there is some serious cobwebbage in each corner.

"I don’t know. I saw a woman, she looked maybe mid-40s. I heard her say something, I’m not sure. It sounded like Latin." Derek answers.

"She must've been a witch! She probably used some kind of transportation spell on us. I’ll call Scott and tell him to stay out of the preserve." Stiles looks down at the phone in his hand and just stares.

"Stiles, what’s wrong?" Derek asks, eyes shifting from Stiles’ face to his hands. He takes the phone and looks down at the screen, seeing nothing that would cause Stiles to panic. He reaches back to put it face-down on one of the shelves to let the light illuminate the room, and he moves to stand in front of him, just inches apart. He reaches out and cups Stiles’ neck right below his jaw, thumb of his left hand gently stroking Stiles’ ear. Stiles shakes his head. "It’s just - bad shit, supernatural things - they keep coming left and right and it sucks to know I’m kind of in the middle of all of it."

"Stiles, hey. Don’t worry, okay? Trust me, whatever I have to do to protect you, I’ll do it. And you know Scott will, too. I know it’s scary, but nobody has gotten hurt since all of this has started. We’ll do whatever we can to keep things from getting out of hand, yeah?" Stiles nods his head and place his hands against Derek’s waist. "Look at you, giving pep talks. Never knew a brooding werewolf such as yourself could be so optimistic." Derek’s mouth turns up at the corners, almost resembling a smile. He leans forward to place a kiss against Stiles’ cheek, but Stiles tilts his head slightly and catches Derek on the lips instead. He places a few small pecks against Derek’s mouth and pulls back before opening his eyes to see Derek staring at him.

Derek walks him back a few steps, hands on either side of his neck, until he lets out a loud  _ooooof_   when his back hits the wall. “Derek, we should probably get out of here, you know?” Derek ducks his head slightly, moves his hand further down his neck and starts to kiss him along the underside of his jaw. Stiles, trying to remain composed, pleads, “Seriously dude, those cobwebs are freaking me out. And I’ve seen much, much worse.”

———————————————

 _What the hell was that_ , Sheriff Stilinski thinks to himself. He looks around the abandoned hall, holding his flashlight in one hand and his gun in the other, in case he needs to shoot. He checks to see if maybe his deputy is done searching the first floor and has joined him on the second, but there’s no one there. When he looks down the far end of the hall, he spots a tiny sliver of light coming from the bottom of a door. Approaching the door hesitantly, he contemplates calling his deputy for backup, but when he flashes his light at the door, he sees the sign that says storage room and decides against it. He pushes the door in and immediately steps back in case something decides to lunge at him. He’s expecting to see a homeless man or maybe a group of kids smoking marijuana. What he does not expect to see is his son pinned against the wall with Derek’s tongue in his mouth. He clears his throat before he speaks. “Stiles. Derek. Why don’t you boys go ahead and come out of the closet.”

Stiles eyes shoot straight open as Derek quickly pulls away, the both of them looking completely shocked. The sheriff rubs at his forehead with the hand holding his flashlight, and begins to back away from the door frame to let the guys come out.

"Well, I tried to before, Dad." Stiles begins as he walks out of the closet, Derek in tow. He turns to look at Derek, whose face reads  _fuuuuck_  in capital letters. He looks back to face his dad and continues. “I really did kinda sorta jokingly try. But then you dismissed it by insulting my fashion sense, which - I’ve got style, right, Derek? It’s literally in my name. Stiiiiiiiiiiile-sss.” He drops his gaze to his shoes and whispers, “I’ve got style.”

"What?" Derek chimes in and - seriously, now’s the time for you to lose your words? Stiles responds, "Well, I’m just saying, he told us to come out of the closet. If that’s not a good opportunity to take advantage of a punny situation, I don’t know what is."

"Oh my god, Stiles! Can you not right now? Not when your dad still has his gun pointed at me." Derek shouts, darting his eyes around before finally settling them on the sheriff’s handgun.

"Oh! Sorry, son." The sheriff drops his gaze to his gun before putting it back into the holster and looking back up at Derek. "I’m not gonna shoot you, no. Wouldn’t do much anyway, from what I understand. But I do need you two to get the hell out of here right now." The tension from Derek’s body is immediately relieved.

"What? Why? What’s going on, Dad?" Stiles blurts out. He knows it’s a longshot asking, since his dad almost never tells him about police business. Especially not when he’s in the middle of it. But after his dad found out about what’s really been going on in Beacon Hills, he’s been a little more open about his investigations in hope that maybe Stiles could provide some assistance.

"God, I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this. It seems there’s a serial killer going around Beacon Hills and we think he might be using this building." the sheriff replies. Even if Stiles’ can’t give him any information, he knows the boy will use that knowledge to try to keep himself and others safe.

"Using this building? For what? Like, embalming his victims? Torturing them before he kills them? Cutting them open and removing their organs? Oh God! We’re not dealing with a cannibal here, are we? Because as much as I love to indulge myself in all things Hannibal Lector" Stiles entire body shudders "ah, that’s just gross."

Obviously Stiles knows nothing about the next killer of Beacon Hills. Sheriff Stilinski sighs, “Son, we are not dealing with anything. Derek, can you please take my son home. And then take yourself home. I don’t want you two carrying on with anything else before we discuss what I caught you two doing in here.” He flashes his light towards the closet as his eyes dodge between the two of them.

"What? Harmless kissing? God, Dad, it could’ve been so much worse. You could’ve seen us fu-"

"STILES!" The sheriff raises his hand, commanding his son to stop talking. "Do not finish that sentence. Leave, NOW!"

"Alright, fine. Derek, come on. You can buy me some froyo on the way home." Stiles turns to see Derek standing still with a concentrated look on his face. He waves a hand in front of his face. "Hello? Der?" Derek snaps out of whatever trance he was in and grabs Stiles’ wrist. Stiles looks at Derek with concern. "Derek, hey. What’s happening?"

Derek looks at Stiles and his expression immediately softens. “Nothing, nothing. I just, I smell blood. But there’s something else - I didn’t give it much mind until your dad said something - it doesn’t smell human.” His eyes shift towards the sheriff, whose own face is starting to show frustration. The sheriff responds “So you’re telling me we’ve got another supernatural creature on our hands? Jesus, what the hell am I gonna do now that I know I’m not dealing with a regular fucking killer?” He rubs his hand down his face and just stares at the floor for a minute.

"Well dad, you could always get Derek to help. You know, be like your little police dog." Stiles points out. He’s half joking, half serious. Derek glares at Stiles with a scowl embedded on his face.

"Derek, would you?" Sheriff Stilinski asks. Derek turns his scowl onto him. He doesn’t even care that the man just caught him making out with his son. No dog jokes. The sheriff begins to wave his hands, trying to dismiss any thoughts Derek might be having in his head. "Sorry, sorry. Not what I mean. Damn it, Stiles. I just - would you be interested in helping me out? Since this is your kind and all."

"This isn’t a werewolf, sir." Derek’s scowl returns to his normal I’m-Derek-Hale-and-I’m-a-big-bad-werewolf glower.

"I just mean shapeshifter or creature of the night or whatever the hell you guys call yourselves. Seriously, son. You’d be a great help. I can’t let another killer get away. Not now, since I know things aren’t always normal in this damn town."

"Stiles?" Derek shifts slightly and turns to face Stiles, eyebrows raising in question. Stiles appears stoic, but he can hear his heart beating slightly faster. "What do you think?"

"I think - uh, I think it’s up to you." He tries to crack a little smile, but Derek can hear the hesitation in his voice. "I can’t stop you, and I know I can’t stop my dad."

"Okay." Derek turns back to the sheriff and begins to walk closer to him. Stiles’ hand darts out before he can stop himself, and he grabs Derek’s fingers. Derek turns and takes those few steps back toward him. "Please, just. Keep my dad safe, okay? And keep yourself safe too." He places a soft kiss against Derek’s lips.

"I will."

The sheriff looks at his son and Derek, wondering exactly how long  _that_  has been going on, and clears his throat. "I didn't see your car outside. Did you drive here?" Stiles shakes his head no. "Alright. I’ll radio Deputy Wilson. He’s downstairs. I’ll tell him to meet you at the front of the building and take you home, okay?” Stiles nods and then turns his back on his father and Derek, starts to walk away and mutters just loud enough that even the sheriff’s human ears could still hear him. “Guess I’ll have to go get froyo by myself.” Sheriff Stilinski smiles.

As they begin to walk in the opposite direction, the sheriff says “You willingly kiss that?” throwing his thumb over his shoulder, even though Stiles is no longer there. “Bless you, son. Really. Stiles is a handful.” When he looks up at Derek, he sees a slight upturn to the corner of his mouth.

"What the hell were you two doing in this building anyway?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! This was my first fic so I hope I didn't do too bad. I'm really crap at writing body movements, so I'm trying to work on that. I would love some feedback and also, if you did like it, I tumble ([alphamexicat](http://www.alphamexicat.tumblr.com)), so you can always send me a prompt or just talk to me in general. It'd be greatly appreciated and it would help me work on my writing skills.
> 
> Also, I didn't feel the need to change this line, but my mom says it's a bit dubious. When Derek says to Stiles "but nobody has gotten hurt since all of this has started," it's not in reference to the entire year that they've been dealing with stuff (Peter, kanima, Alpha Pack, etc.), just life post-Nemeton.


End file.
